WHEN LITTLE GIRLS GO OUT TO PLAY

Forward: 

Several years ago when our grandkids were still pretty young, for some reason they kept asking me to write a story. I was not sure why, but I decided to give it a go. They kept wanting more, so more kept getting added to it until finally it engulfed the whole family. It wound up being pretty long but it was a good bedtime story after all. I decided to send it on to you so maybe it will put your kids or grandkids to sleep too! Put your kids names in the story when you read and put them on the spy trail that our grandkids were on at the time!

Chapter 1. The Cow Caper

When little girls go out to play, it sometimes becomes a chore for Mommy. Usually, we get this doll, that doll, 17 little toys that came out of an egg, a shoe, a bottle, or a gum machine. This time in particular, Mommy said, “Alana and Heidi, today, we leave all that stuff inside and we just go for a stroll and a picnic.” 

“Waah,” cried Alana and Heidi, “no fair!” That will not be fun at all. 

“We are going to do something entirely different. Today, we are going to strictly use our imaginations,” said Mommy. On the road in the car, there was not a movie or a music cd playing. 

Alana and Heidi protested, “this is boring, we need something to do!” 

Mommy said, “today, instead of all the music and DVD’s playing, let’s do something different. We are going to the land of imagination! 

“Yay, yelled Alana…wait…wait a minute…..where is that? 

“Yay, where is that repeated Heidi?” 

“Look, do you see that cow in the field over there, said Mommy?” 

“Where, said Alana and Heidi at the same time. 

“There, said Mommy, I do believe that cow is about to take off flying after us. I see her getting take off approach prepared. That cow is an international spy. She is following us to try and steal our recipe for peanut butter and honey sandwiches!” 

“No way!” said Alana. 

“You are crazy Mommy!” said Heidi. 

“We are not in Indiana anymore,” said Mommy. We are in the land of imagination. 

“OOOOH,” said the girls at once. All at once, there was a big “CLUMP” on the top of the little car. 

“Mommy,” screamed Heidi. “There is a cows tail hanging down against the back window.” 

“The cow is on our car,” yelled Alana excitedly. 

“Oh my,” cried mommy, “This is worse than I thought. This cow is a representative of the CIA. She just put up a sign that says, pull over to the side of the road!” 

“Mommy, what is the CIA,” asked Heidi.
“That is the Cow Investigative Agency, replied Mommy. 

“There is no such thing,” said Alana. 

“Oh, but there most certainly is,” exclaimed Mommy. They are in charge of picnic oversight,” If you have too much roast beef in your picnic basket, you can get in way too much trouble from these guys. 

“Do we have any roast beef in our picnic basket?” whimpered Alana. “I am getting scared.” 

“Well, there is none for us, but but I put in a chuck roast for Daddy. At the last minute he said he would join us for our picnic today. I threw the roast in so that he could make a sandwich,” said Mommy. 

“Moo, moo, moo,” bellowed the cow. That meant, step out of the car and put your hands on your head.  

“Yes, we will cooperate!” exclaimed Mommy!
“Mommy, when did you learn to speak cow,” said Alana. 

“It just comes to you in Imagination,” said Mommy. The cow flew down from the top of the car and waited very sternly for the little family to get out and join her. 

“Moo! Moowah!” (Which means “Hurry up! Silly bipeds! My name is Sarah – please uncover your picnic basket for inspection.”) 

“Yes ma’am!” squeals Mommy, in a rather high-pitched tone.Sarah scans the basket with a meter contraption of some sort that is attached to her tail. “BLEEP! BLEEP!” the meter blares loudly! 

“Moo! Moo! (Illegal beef!) Shouts Sarah, with her very wide cow eyes looking very wide, indeed. “You will have to come with me to headquarters,” and with a bow of her head she scoops Mommy up onto her back and flies of into the distance. This happened in such a blink of the eye that no one had the chance for much reaction. Alana and Heidi just stood there, flabbergasted! (Flabbergasted! I like that word, don’t you?) After the initial shock Alana and Heidi both burst out crying, “Mommy, Mommy! What should we do?” From way up above, on Sarah’s shoulders Mommy yells back, “Step into Imagination….” (As she trails off into the distance). Whoosh! All of a sudden both girls are standing there in trench coats and fedora hats!
“Agent 7, Agent 5,” comes a loud male voice from inside the car.“Control yourselves!” 

“Daddy!” Cried the girls, “Is that you?” 

“This is Commander Eric McDiddlehopper, please step inside the car immediately!” 

“McDiddlehopper, that is so silly!” laughed Heidi softly. 

“What was that, Agent 5?” asked the commander, from over the car radio. 

“Nothing, nothing!” said Heidi (still laughing to herself). 

“Agent 7” said the commander, “Please sit behind the wheel and strap yourself in.” 

“Yes Daddy, er … Commander McDiddlehopper,” said Alana (“He! He! He!” softly). 

“Agent 7?” 

“Yes, sir!” 

“Please press the green button in the center of the control panel.” He had no more finished saying this, when the steering wheel disappeared within the dashboard and from under the steering wheel, a control panel rotated up from the floor to take the place of the steering wheel itself. Alana pressed the green button. 

“Location, please?” said a mechanical voice from inside of the control panel. 

Commander McDiddlehopper yells from the radio, “Computer! Follow that cow!!” A loud, whirring noise started up, and up from the center console a rod started rising up. The roof of the car rotates back to the trunk and from the rod ejects four helicopter blades that start rotating quickly, making the car rise rapidly into the sky. 

From the taillights shoot jet streams of heat and air as the control panel spits out in the mechanical voice, “Subject has been identified as Sarah Udderly, the leader of the radical cow rebellion known as the CIA. In pursuit now, interception estimated at 4 minutes, 10 seconds.” 

Suddenly, Sarah, with Mommy still on her back takes a zigzag darting movement off to the right and disappeared from the radar screen. “WHOOPS!” Squawks the console. “Target is no longer visible!” 

Commander McDiddlehopper barks from the radio “Computer, do long range scans!” 

“Commencing long range scans.” Then, what seemed like several minutes, “Target acquired, approximately 23 miles ahead. Calculations indicate this corresponds the rest stop that is ahead on the right.” 

Commander McDiddlehopper muses, “Hmmm…very good. This could work out. Agent 7, Agent 5?” 

“Yes, sir!” answer the girls, in their most military manner that they could muster up. 

“You are being called to action; you will have to rescue Mommy!” 

“Us?” squeak the girls, timidly. 

“You are being called to action! You are the only hope for your Mommy!” barks out the Commander, “There are no other agents in this sector to make it in time for a rescue. If I know your Mommy, she is also giving us some time. The only reason for that rest stop would be a bathroom break, and your Mommy has been known to take some long breaks! He! He! He! 

“Daddy,” said Alana “I think Mommy is the one that normally says that about you! He! He! He!” 

“Agent 7!”
“Yes, sir!”
“Compose yourself!” Let’s get back to business!” “Yes, sir!” 

The car automatically pulls up and stops in front of the rest area. Heidi and Alana peek out of the window slowly. There are cows, hundreds of  cows, They are wandering all over the rest area. The girls hear a brushing against the car door. 

“Agents 7 and 5? “asks and unfamiliar voice. 

“Yes?” whisper the girls timidly. 

“Open the door slowly halfway and slip out. My name is Patty.” 

“Oh good, a friend!” exclaim the girls, together. As they slink out from behind the car door, they turn around and are face to face with a very wide-eyed cow with very long eyelashes. 

“Eeek!” squeal the girls. 

“Ssshhh!” whispers the cow, “It’s me, Patty.” 

“Hey!” said Alana, “We understand cow now!” 

“That is because you have finally reached Imagination!” laughs Patty. 

“That is nice,” said Heidi, “who are all your friends?” as she looked nervously at all the many other cows surrounding them at the moment. 

“My name is Patty,” said the first cow. 

“My name is Patty,” said the second cow, and the third, and the fourth, and, in fact, all of the other cows were named Patty! 

“Isn’t is hard to tell each other apart, if you all have the same name,” asked Alana. 

“Oh, dearie me, no!” Exclaimed the first Patty. “It is all in the way you say the name. You humans must be very dense!” 

“Maybe so?!” said Alana, very quietly. 

Patty 1 said, “Agents 7 and 5, creep down between each of us and go up and into the restroom where your Mommy is. Sarah is standing close to the restroom entrance. Avoid her, go into the restroom and get your Mommy. Come back the same way and be sure you crouch down low so Sarah will not see you. Come back pretty much the same way as you go in.” 

It gets pretty hot, stooping down with all the cows surrounding them so closely. The girls and Mommy are very hot, dusty and sweaty when it is all over, but it is very worth it, because it works!

“Goodbye!” said all the Patty cows. 

Mommy starts the car up and they drive quietly, but quickly down the ramp and are soon on the road again, heading for the picnic and rendezvous with Daddy. The girls are very tired and soon are drifting to sleep but Alana asks before slowly going out into a much-deserved nap, “Mommy, it seemed so easy to get away after all that happened, why was that?” 

“Oh, baby!” Everyone knows it is easy to get out of a field, if you just avoid all the Cow Patties!” 

Chapter 2. The Space Case

“Agent 7, Agent 7!” Alana groggily opened her eyes, to see Daddy staring down at her. 

“Daddy? What are you doing down here?” 

“Not daddy! I am Commander McDiddlehopper. 

“Alana! You should see this!” came the cry from across the room.It was Heidi. Alana blinked her eyes, trying to get the sleep out. She thought, “the last I remember we were still driving along on the outing, on our way to meet Daddy. Now here is Daddy, but something is up because, instead of Daddy, there is Commander McDiddlehopper instead.” 

“Why is it so dark, and why does the car seem so big?” she finally managed to say aloud. “And where is Mommy?” 

“An emergency came up! Mommy is in the navigational seat below in engineering. We had to make a quick detour to pick up two more experienced agents – here they are now!” 

“Gavin! Carah! It’s the cousins!” squealed Alana and Heidi: Commander McDiddlehopper snorted, “This is Agent 6.5 and Agent 9, please keep respect during a mission!” All four agents were laughing. Agent 6.5 seemed to be doing a cartwheel in the middle of the ship. “This weightless thing is OK!” yelled Gavin. 

“Ship!” cried Alana, now awake completely! “We are on a spaceship!” 

“That is what I was trying to tell you before when you wouldn’t wake up!” laughed Heidi. “We have a new mission already, and Daddy…. er…. Commander McD is going to brief us as soon as he has our final orders. Right now, we are headed toward the back side of Saturn!” 

“Good to see you!” laughed Carah (Agent 9). “I’m hungry! What do you have for snacks?” 

“There are some freeze dried space pouches in the hatch below your feet,” said Heidi. 

“Ewww!” said Carah as she made a face, “I don’t like those unless my mommy makes them!” 

“Heidi,” whispered Alana to her sister, “How do you know so much about the spaceship?” 

“Alana, you would not wake up while the pre-flight meeting was in session. Commander McD went over all operations and flight checklists before we started. I will fill you guys in when Commander McD finishes the mission briefing.” 

“Heidi,” whispered Alana quietly, “Why does the commander let you call him McD?” 

“Because I can’t say McDiddlehopper without laughing!” giggled Heidi. 

“Agent 5!” said Commander McDiddlehopper sternly. 

“Yes sir?” said Heidi. 

“Keep it under control!” said the Commander sternly, but with a grin. “Alright, agents,” started the Commander, “ I just got off of the communicators with IGSA (Inter Galactic Space Agency). We have a boatload of troubles coming from the next galaxy over. It seems a disgruntled postal employee from the planet Snarfblat has stolen the plans for a weapon that could possibly end all life in our galaxy as we know it. This weapon has the potential to turn all life forms into lime jello!” 

All of the agents gasped, “No one likes lime jello!” 

“We know, but the plan is, for Agent 6.5 to do a triple somersault out of the back of our ship and cartwheel into the cart of the postal worker, who has been identified as Rhubarb Jello.” 

“He sounds nasty!” said Agent 9. 

“He really could be,” said Commander McDiddlehopper. “As I was saying though, if Agent 6.5 can make that cartwheel into the cart of Rhubarb, it could literally disintegrate Rhubarb into millions of tiny pieces as he oozes thru the webbing of that cart.” 

“Ewww” all the agents exclaimed at once. 

“Commander, what will the rest of us do while Agent 6.5 is pulling off his part of the mission?” asked Agent 9. 

“It will be your job to maneuver the ship into the exact position needed in order for Agent 6.5 to achieve success,” said the commander. 

“Us?” The three other agents exclaimed. 

“Yes, agents.” Again, you are the only agents available that would be able to pull this off. Agent 9 is very experienced, she has flown to China before, as a missionary!” 

“Will you be there to help Daddy…er. Commander McD?” asked Heidi (with very wide eyes). 

“No, Agent 5, your Mommy and I have a secret meeting at an Intergalactic coffee shop to see if there is any more trouble brewing,” said Commander McDiddlehopper. “You three will be the senior agents on this mission. 

“Oooh!” cried Agent 7. 

“What is it, Agent 7?” asked the commander. “Where are you going Agent 7?” 

“To the bathroom,” sighed Agent 7. 

“How are we going to be able to get this big spaceship to maneuver to just the right position for Gavin to be able to make his big leaps?” asked Carah, as the three young agents were huddled around the planning table. 

Alana, beaming with pride, exclaimed “I have experience with that, you just have to push the green button. Those things do it all.” 

“Alana! Look around you, there are green buttons everywhere!” whispered Heidi. Sure enough, looking through the dark, there were hundreds of green buttons all around the ship. Alana got up to investigate. 

Looking closer, she exclaimed, “these are not green buttons, they are green lights made to look like the green button. They are coming from outside. Look! It’s from another spaceship. The light beams are coming from there! These are all just to confuse us from finding the real button to keep Gavin from doing his jump! We have to find that real button! How do we stop those light rays from entering the ship so we can find the button?”

“Quick, try these on!” said Carah, as she handed a pair of glasses to Agents 7 and 5. “See, with these on the light beams are now yellow, and we can see the real green button. “Alana, go hit that button!” 

Alana hit the button, but nothing happened. “Why is it not working?” 

“Alana, I just wanted to hit the button too!” cried Heidi. 

Carah yelled, “Alana, when Heidi hit the button it cancelled out where you hit the button! Quick, hit it one more time!” 

“Gavin get into position!” They all cried at once. Alana jumped back over to the console and whacked the button as hard as she could. 

The computer responded quickly, “Mission is a go. Agent 6.5, begin you maneuver.” Gavin begins… Somersault one… Somersault two… the hatch door opens… somersault three… out the hatch door into a perfect cartwheel, and lands… Ker splat!! right on to Rhubarb, the evil space postal worker who disintegrates into a bazillion tiny little particles that float off into space. 

“Ewww!” hollered Gavin, as he hit Rhubarb. All engines stop, the lights flash on, and everyone piles out of the car into the restaurant parking lot. Waiting outside the restaurant is Aunt Grace and Uncle Kris! Everyone hugs and laughs, it is so good to see each other after such a long time. Everyone eats, and laughs, and laughs. 

“How was the mission and what was the outcome?” asked Mommy. Just as Alana was about to speak, Uncle Kris gets his dessert – a great big bowl of lime jello! 

“Ewww!” all the agents cried! 

Chapter 3. Cavern Catastrophe

“Mommy, why are we here all together, I thought we were just going on a day trip and picnic,” said Alana. 

“Well, that’s what we said in case things didn’t work out,” explained Mommy. “We didn’t want you to be too disappointed.” 

“So, where are we going then?” asked the girls. 

“Well,” said Mommy, “We are going to meet the rest of the family in Gatlinburg, Tennessee!” 

“Yeah!” they shouted. 

“The only thing is, it is a couple more hours away, so sit back and buckle up! We are off to the mountains, with Aunt Grace and her family following closely behind us!” said Mommy happily. 

“Mommy! I am bored,” whined Alana. 

“I am bored too” agreed Heidi. 

Mommy got a phone call from Aunt Grace. “Aunt Grace says that there are two bored kiddos in the car behind us, she wants to know when we can stop and let them run off some of that unspent energy!” laughed Mommy. 

“Not for long, I do not think!” said Daddy. “There is another emergency. Commander McDiddlehopper’s team has been called into action! There has been a cave-in at the old coal mine up the road. This is big, it will be all hands-on deck. I will send a signal to Colonel Kris Krisbottom’s team,” (who just happened to be following us at the moment). “Colonel Kris!” snapped Commander Eric. 

“Sir?” Came the answer from Krisbottom. 

“Meet at the next rendezvous point! There is a cave-in mishap that requires all teams on hand!” reported the commander. 

“Yeah!” Came some excited voices in the background (over the intercom), “A mission!” At the strategy meeting Commander McDiddlehopper and Colonel Krisbottom were pouring over a giant map of the terrain. 

“Bottom!” said Commander McDiddlehopper. 

“Yes, Hopper?” asked Colonel Krisbottom. 

“We need to plan something for a very dangerous rescue mission here. It seems the cave open has collapsed. The main reason our agency has become involved, is that some of our best agents are trapped in the collapse.” 

“My word,” Exclaimed Colonel Krisbottom. 

Commander McDiddlehopper continued, “They were on a scientific exploration looking for clues on a reported sighting of lime jello droppings. It is not only a couple of your best rookie agents, Agent 7.75 and Agent 11, but the leader of this sector, General Jeff Jabberwacky and his beautiful assistant. Worse than that, the very founders of our organization are with them, helping to train the agents!” 

“Oh my, not…?” 

“This is correct – Papa and Nana, founders of the Eagle’s Cross” said Commander McDiddlehopper sadly. “Get the agents in here. We have to devise a plan.” Upon hearing the news, everyone was very upset, the beautiful assistant of Commander McDiddlehopper and Colonel Krisbottom, were extremely agitated, being as they were two of the first recruits into the Eagle Cross Unit. 

“Control yourselves ladies” said Colonel Krisbottom softly. “We will get through this.” 

Meanwhile, in a cavern in an abandoned coal mine near Gatlinburg, Noah (Agent 7.75) said to Dad, er… General Jabberwacky, “Dad, um, General, my portable laser cannon is in my backpack!” 

Dad … er… Wacky gushed, “That’s my boy!” Meanwhile, back at the planning session, all of the agents and the beautiful assistants were engrossed in finding a safe method of extracting the agents in peril without making the entire hillside fall in upon the unlucky group. 

“I think we should build a big drill and just go straight down to them,” suggested Agent 9. 

“Wouldn’t work,” said Agent 5, “our equipment is not measuring where they are because they are so far below the surface. We could drill into them and never know it. That could get messy!” 

“We could dig out the side some, and maybe we could get enough earth dug out so that the equipment would register their location,” added Agent 7. 

“That is a good suggestion,” threw out Agent 6.5. “There could be some risk involved though. If we dig at the wrong spot it could cause more earth to fall in on the other agents. We need to get enough earth out of the pit to be able to get any type of reading on the equipment. This is hard to figure out. I wish Commander McDiddlehopper, Colonel Kris Krisbottom, and the beautiful assistants had not gone out for pizza!” 

The earth movers were now all on site. Alana, Heidi, Carah, and Gavin were all on the scene in hard hats, looking very grim. “I don’t know guys,” said Alana. “Things don’t seem to be going our way. We have removed all of the loose rock and soil and now have hit a wall of massive solid stones that slid down inside the mountain along with the cave-in. The engineer I spoke with said that it could possibly have been a small earthquake, to have been able to shift pretty much the whole mountain in this manner.” 

“Don’t give up so easily!” Shouted Gavin (Agent 6.5), as he did a quadruple somersault from the top of the debris jumping to the level ground. “I have another idea!” 

“What is it?” the other agents asked excitedly all at once. 

“Dynamite!!” suggested Gavin.
“Dynamite!!” screamed the others. 

“You are crazy!” laughed Heidi (Agent 5). “Dynamite will make the whole mountain will fall in towards the caves, as weak as this mountain has become!” The others shook their heads in agreement. 

“No! No! I have it all figured out. Just the right amount, at the right location and the layer of rock will shatter in two – making it easier for us to haul away that layer of debris!” protested Gavin. “The geologist and engineer have agreed with the plan. They said that at this point, as long as our crew has been down there, that this could possibly be their best chance for survival.” 

“And we agree too!” shouted Commander McDiddlehopper, as he and the rest of the senior agents came walking up the path, with sodas in one hand and toothpicks in the other.
“Everyone agrees that, although very dangerous – this is the only thing that we could possibly be done for now.” The dynamite was put in place by the only agent there that could get up and around all those cracks and crevices – Agent 6.5, of course! (Well, to be honest, Agent 5 could have done it too, but she would not have been able to get back down by herself,) So, the explosives were in place, and Agent 6.5 came out high from the upper part of the debris mound, then did another quadruple somersault off of the top to land on the level ground. Agent 6.5 then ran with the wired and plunger to behind the safe area, where the others were gathered. Gavin jumped behind the wall, turned around, attached the wires to the plunger and pushed the handle down as hard as he could! 

“Ker plow!” the dynamite exploded and echoed for what seemed like forever. Then, another explosion. “Blaam!” 

“What happened?” questioned Gavin. “It wasn’t me, I only had one charge loaded!” The engineer came up and talked with Colonel Krisbottom for a moment. 

Colonel Krisbottom came back to the group with a very ashen face. “I’m sorry to tell you guys, but the engineer just informed me that the plan did not work! The first explosion was the dynamite, but then the whole side of the mountain collapsed – that was the second explosion. There is no hope for any survivors. Everyone was stunned. They all just had to sit down where they were. The girls all began to cry, the guys were just sitting stunned, eyes tearing up. Sitting there, not knowing what to do, or even what to say. 

Someone came up behind Agent 6.5 and put a hand across his shoulder. “Hey, guy! What’s wrong? What has happened?” 

“We are very sad. Several of our friends and co-agents have been killed. We are still in shock! The girls cannot even speak!” reported Gavin. 

“I feel for you man! Who are the other agents? I might know them. My friends and I are all in the Eagle’s Cross. We might have crossed paths with these other agents,” said the new- comer. 

“Wait a minute!” yelled Alana, looking up quickly through her tears, “That is Noah talking, isn’t it? We were crying so hard the no one saw you come up! You are supposed to be dead!” Then, from around the row of trees cam General Jeff Jabber- wacky, his beautiful assistant, Agent 11, and then Papa and Nana, founders of the Eagle’s Cross, came up from behind. 

“How did you get out of there alive, Wacky?” asked Commander McDiddlehopper. 

“Yes,” agreed Colonel Krisbottom, “that seems like an impossible stunt!” 

“Well, Bottom and Hopper,” laughed Jeff Jabberwacky, “It was the quick thinking of Agent 7.75 and Agent 11 that saved the day! Agent 7.75 had his laser cannon in his backpack and Agent 11 had a four-person collapsible sled in her backpack. We would blast 20 feet at a time with the cannon, then we would slide on the sled, then shoot with the laser. We slid so far that pretty soon we slid out into the Australian outback. We hopped on some kangaroos going our way. We jumped out at the airfield, hopped a freighter, then took a bus from the coast, and here we are!!” 

Everyone laughed and laughed and hugged and hugged. Here we were – all one big Eagle’s Cross Unit – together for the first time in quite a while. Uncle Eric (Commander McDiddlehopper), beautiful assistant (Aunt Sarah), Alana and Heidi (Agents 5 and 7), Kris (Colonel Kris Krisbottom), beautiful assistant (Aunt Grace), Carah and Gavin (Agents 9 and 6.5), Uncle Jeff (General Jeff Jabberwacky), beautiful assistant (Aunt Carrie), Aislinn and Noah (Agents 11 and 7.75), and then Nana and Papa too! 

Here we were, all set to have some family fun in Gatlinburg, Tennessee! 

Chapter 4. High on the Mountain

Alana heard Uncle Jeff ahead, “We should have taken the shorter trail. The wives are tired out already and the kids will be starting to complain any minute now. These Cades Cove trails are pretty rough at places.” 

Alana piped up, “We won’t complain, Uncle Jeff, we are having a good time.” As she was saying this the thermometer was up near 83 degrees Fahrenheit and the perspiration was starting to roll down here forehead. The group had been having a really good time for these last three days, in and around Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge, and Sieverville. There had been restaurants, parks, games, and a whole lot of fun and laughter. The weather had been very pleasant up until today – the very day that they had chosen to go on one of the long hiking trails around Cades Cove. The kids were starting to complain. First one, and then the other – and they were starting to drop from the oppressive heat. 

Papa and Nana were getting concerned, so Papa announced, “This meeting of the Eagle’s Cross will come to order!” 

“Yes, sir!” The kids all exclaimed at once. 

“It has come to our attention,” began Papa, “from headquarters; that a giant comet is at this moment, hurdling through space directly towards our planet. This has caused the spike in temperatures, which will continue to climb. The most important thing is, that if the comet’s trajectory does not change that it will smack right into the side of the mountain where we just happen to be, completely altering the Great Smokies as we know them. Our unit has been called upon to relieve the situation (since we are in the vicinity) with any means necessary! Commander McDiddlehopper, the troops are yours!” 

“Yes, sir!” as McDiddlehopper snapped to attention. “Colonel Krisbottom! General Jabber-wacky!” 

“Yes, sir!” as the two division leaders reported. 

“Meet with you divisions and your beautiful assistants, and let’s begin to work up some strategies,” stated the Commander. The groups met for what seemed like hours (in actuality, it was probably more like five minutes). You could hear statements like, “That will not work!” and “You are as crazy as you look!” Nothing could be agreed upon, everyone seemed to be too wiped out from the heat to come up with any feasible ideas. 

“Hey!” shouted Nana. “Look up ahead!” They all had been too busy to notice but there was the roar of a small waterfall right in front of them. 

“Cannonball!” yelled Colonel Krisbottom, and into the cool mountain water he jumped! Then cannonballs were hitting the water right and left, as everyone jumped into the stream – one after the other, and some at the same time. Even Nana got in; but of course, without the cannonball part! Pretty soon, the grownups were up on the shore while the junior agents were splashing around in the cool water. 

“Ok, guys,” said Agent 11. “We need to figure out how to deal with this comet situation. I have been going through all sorts of theories in my head but cannot come up with a good solution. Does anyone have any ideas at all?” 

Agent 7 reported, “Agent 5 and I have been hashing this over and I believe we have come up with a plan.” 

“Yes, a plan!” agreed Agent 5 most heartily! 

“A time cannon.” continued Agent 7. 

“How does this work?” asked Agent 7.75. 

“Well, in theory, like this – when the comet gets to a certain point in its trajected path, we fire this time cannon and the comet gets set to the same location, but in a different time of the year, when the Earth would be in a different part of its orbit around the sun. That way, the comet would completely miss our planet,” stated Agent 7, with an air of confidence. 

“And how do we know what time to fire the cannon? What would be the right time to hit the comet and send it to the safe orbit?” asked Agent 7.75. 

“Don’t ask me,” said Agent 7. “You are our math wizard! You are the one to figure this out! 

Agent 7.75 gulped. “Me? You think I can do this?” he asked, nervously. 

“Yes! I believe you can! You are our math wizard and you are our best hope. You are a math genius! You can figure it out!” gushed Agent 7. 

“I think I can, I think I can . . . I know I can! Determined 7.75. “How do we get parts for building the cannon?” 

“Well, I was so excited about this idea,” laughed Agent 7, “That I got Papa to commission all the equipment we need from The Dollar Tree to build the cannon. The equipment is being air dropped to us within the hour.” 

“Now agents,” inquired General Jeff Jabber-wacky, “That is good thinking, but do we have a backup plan in case this does not work out?” 

“General,” said Agent 7.75, “Agent 7’s plan is flawless. This will work!” 

“We are all depending on you,” said Commander McDiddlehopper, in a grave voice. “This plan is our only hope.” continued the commander, “there is no time left to come up with any other solution. The planet is in a dire situation!” The campsite was all set up, the lunch was being prepared. The agents were all sitting around waiting for the equipment to be air dropped in. Agents 5, 7, and 7.75 began working on the cannon immediately. Agents 11, 9, and 6.5 began scoping near- by caves for the clear quartz crystals that would power the cannon. 

At lunch, after the final smore had been devoured, the agents began to construct the makeshift time cannon. It was now less than three hours before the comet was expected to strike! Agent 7.75 was busy calculating the correct trajectory of the comet and the precise figures that would be needed to fire the cannon sending the comet far enough into the future to miss Earth’s orbit. 

“As the small solar battery and solar panels heat up the quartz crystals, it will become super nova-like, heating up enough to send the comet into the future,” began Agent 7. “Approximately how long do we need Agent 7.75?” 

“What I have calculated is precisely four months, nine days, and 3 hours,” said Agent 7.75. “I have conferred with Agent 9, and I do believe she has checked my figures and agrees with me.” 

“Yes,” replied Agent 9. “I do agree with my fellow agent’s calculations. This is a most precise figure, and very accurate. I am very impressed that Agent 7.75 could come to this conclusion so quickly.” 

“Agents!” said Commander McDiddlehopper. 

“Yes, sir!” they shouted, as they were all snapping to attention. 

“We, the leaders of the Eagle’s Cross, are all very proud of our agents. We agree whole-heartedly with the steps that you have taken here and do believe that these steps will be the catalyst for saving this part of our planet today. Now go and set the plan in motion! Good luck to you all and may God be with us!” The cannon was mounted on the tripod; the solar panels and batteries were super-charging the quartz crystals. 

Agent 7.75 began his count down, “10 – 9 – 8 – 7 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 – FIRE!” The cannon fired – the super-hot blast of energy went hurdling up through the sky, but then exploding just out of range of the approaching comet! 

“AAAHH,” cried Agent 7.75. “I was off by seconds!” Everyone was beginning to panic, but Agent 11 pulled Agent 6 to the side and yelled, “Come with me! We are going to do something about this!” 

“Sure thing!” agreed Agent 6.5. The two intrepid agents ran up the hill, despite the oppressive heat. At the peak of the hill Agent 11 cupped her hands and cried out to Agent 6.5, “Do your thing – NOW!” 

Agent 6.5 ran to Agent 11, placed his foot in her cupped hands and yelled, “GERONIMO!” as Agent 11 tossed Agent 6.5 upwards he did his quadruple somersault his cowboy boots smashed in the comet, shattering it into a billion tiny particles! 

“Well,” said Nana. “This has been a very interesting day. “Let’s all walk back down the mountains and get some ice cream. Troops dismissed!” 

Everyone, of course, had a some really big laughs as they walked back down the trail toward that wonderful, cold ice cream. 

Epilogue

“Wake up girls”, said Mommy quietly, as she was nudging them gently awake.

“What is going on?”  Asked Alana rubbing her eyes, then yawning with a great stretch involved.

“It is time to get in the car for the long ride home.” Mommy answered.

“What?” Cried the girls at once.

“We aren’t going to play with the cousins today?” Squeaked Heidi.

“No, girls. Everything is already packed in the car; All we have to do is get in the car and ride. Daddy packed everything up early this morning, so just change into those traveling clothes I laid out for you, brush your teeth, and let’s get moving! Everyone else has already checked out and gone. We were waiting on that before we woke you up.”

“Huh?” They asked with wide eyes.

“You mean we didn’t even get to say goodbye to everyone else?” Asked Alana.

Mommy answered, “Daddy and I decided it would be less emotional for you girls if we skipped the tearful goodbyes this trip. We are hoping to get together again before long and thought it best not to have the different goodbye scenes, since you girls take it so hard.”

For the rest of the time getting ready to go, everything was very quiet— the girls seemed to be taking things well. Mommy and Daddy were quite pleased but then they heard doors slamming as the girls were getting in the car and then Mommy noticed tearing eyes and gritted teeth. 

“What is it Alana?” Sighed Mommy(knowing already what it was).

“I am mad!” Cried Alana, thought those gritted teeth.

“Yes, I am mad too!” Fussed Heidi. “What are we mad at Alana?” She leaned toward her sister.

“We should at least have gotten to say goodbye to everyone!” Alana pouted. The car started and Daddy looked at Mommy. “This is going to be a looooong trip!”

“I thing so too!” Said Mommy, while rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “Commander, you need to shape up the agents!”

“We will have to see to that!” Answered Daddy. A few miles had passed by, traveling on the highway and the sobbing had finally subsided a little in the back of the car.

“Agents!” Barked Commander McDiddlehopper. Sniffles immediately stopped(to Mommy’s relief).

“Yes, sir!” Both girls answered at once.

“Get ready to fly!” Snapped the Commander.

Immediately, the car had wings, and both agents sat at attention. “These agents are reporting for duty.” And such smiles as you have never seen, as they flew off down the road toward new adventures!

The End