I’ve noticed an uncanny amount of friends and Christian women following this creed. “Take time for self-care.” And I think I know why they say it. They have worked themselves half to death at some point while trying to work a job, care for others, or possible even ministering at church. I want to be careful in writing this because at one time I have been that burnt-out, young, hurting Christian. In wanting to be of service I took on too many duties. I am not going to make a list of all the activities I was involved in because that is irrelevant. Too many duties is going to be different for everyone. Some people seem to have limitless boundless energy. They can sleep three hours per night and keep going. I am not one of them. I have physical limitations that cannot be ignored.
I once had the idea that if something was good and right, then I needed to do it. I would say, “I’ll pray about it,” but really I didn’t take the time to pray it through. I would pray about it once, and then think that since it was a good thing then I should do it. This was not the fault of any person but myself. I was a weak baby Christian. I had a watery prayer life, intermittent Bible reading and devotional time, and I was taking on so many acts of service that I had even less time to spend with the one who would give me strength to do these acts. In taking on so much, and not spending time growing in grace I burned out spiritually as well as physically. My weak prayer life and my baby step bible reading grew to be completely non-existent. I was so tired that I completely quit every form of ministry that I was a part of. I literally dropped everything. I felt so much guilt. I kept hearing that reassuring phrase everywhere I went, and to everyone I talked to, “you have to take time for self-care.” It felt good to have everyone behind me. It often helped assuage that guilty feeling. And I tried to follow the advice.
It was pretty easy to do. Get a facial, have a massage, sleep more, exercise more, eat better… Spend more time with yourself. Physically I began to feel a little better, although it was taking a lot longer than I felt it should. But people weren’t giving the advice that I really needed to hear. Then one day I went to the park with my mom. She completely understood what I was going through. She finally gave me the advice that I wish everyone could hear. I’m going to paraphrase because I don’t remember the exact words, but basically she said that I was going to have to just be. Be still. Rest. Spend time in God’s word. She said that you can only ignore your physical body for so long. She told me that she didn’t know why some people have the ability to do it all, and others the physical limitations to do less, but that pushing until you kill yourself is not the answer. She told me to take time to recover, and then really pray before doing more. Really, really, really pray. She quoted Psalm 46:10a “Be still and know that I am God.”
I’m so blessed to have the godly loving influences that I do in my life. I think if I’d not had that grounding, I may have found myself in a bigger mess than I was in. I’d have turned to the advice from the world which tells us that self-care is the most important thing. “After all”, they say, “what’s the first thing they tell you when an airplane is going down? Put on your own oxygen mask first!”
This is a point where we need to have discernment. Discernment is knowing the difference between right and almost right. If we aren’t careful, along the way, self-care can very easily turn into pure unadulterated selfishness. We can ignore our families, our churches, and our communities all while indulging our need for self-care. Very recently I have begun spending a lot of time trying to figure out where those lines need to be drawn because I have become very selfish with my time. My physical limitations were causing me to turn inward, withdrawn, and lazy. A long time ago I read a book about a woman who was bound to her bed, but spent her days writing letters to people who needed encouragement. I need to have that tenacity. I need to not give up when things are hard.
I have started something new. Instead of saying self-care, I say self-discipline. I am disciplining myself to start my day doing the things I should. I am disciplining myself to do what I need to do to stay healthy, to stay grounded in the word of God, to take care of my family, and to think about other’s needs rather than just my own. And when I really want to start something new, and add to my load, I pray it through. ALL THE WAY THROUGH! God can and will give us the ability to serve him. He doesn’t want us to be selfish, but God doesn’t need us teaching others if we don’t have spiritual grounding ourselves. Maybe he limits us so that we will BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD. God tells us to be thankful in all things. So today, I am thankful for my weakness. I am thankful that when I depend on myself, He knocks me down, lays me flat on my back, and makes me look up to him, so that I must BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD.
GA
Voice of the Introverts 