I am not sure how to start this one. When one gives their personal testimony, they should probably choose their words carefully. Not only are you reflecting yourself in a good or bad light, but you are also either magnifying yourself or the Savior. When doing this I would prefer that it reflect the light of the LORD, rather than anything I say putting me in any type of higher esteem.
I will start off by saying that part of my story is probably the beginnings of my introvertishness (that is a good word, even if I did just make it up), but that is also how I can put things down on paper better than I can roll things off of the tongue.
I was saved when I was a mere six years old. My pastor growing up was Howard Davis, of Blackwelder Park Baptist Church in Kannapolis, North Carolina. Fifty-nine years later, I cannot recall what was said, but my dad and I talked about it and I was baptized that very evening.
I remember being so excited about it. I went into my second grade teacher the next morning and told her I had accepted Christ and gotten saved. I think this might be the catalyst of being an introvert vocally with my faith, but she told me to sit down and be quiet, it was time for class to start. Please do not dismiss your children on the topic of salvation and also please prepare them for the reaction of the world.
I went on being a semi-normal nerdy kid, but I grew up in a 60s environment in public school and in a church with other kids that grew up in public schools. Somehow I always seemed to be on the outskirts of other people, but I remember even in the 60s listening to the filthy conversations that went on. I would stand back in amazement that people talked this way. Remember, these were people that were growing up in church. I seemed to be always the wallflower, I would stand back, not being able to join in these conversations. This was the latter half of the 1960s – just think how bad it is for kids in public schools today. It makes me shudder to think of it.
So as you will not think I was perfect, I will let you know that I was a fish out of water, so at times I would try and crawl into that fishbowl that everyone else in my life seemed to be in. I said to myself that I was just going to start talking like everyone else and doing the things they were doing. No matter what little thing I would try, all I could feel was my heart would start to hurt. I just could not participate. So, I went on like that for years, ups and downs in my faith until finally, at the age of 24, and I remember this well – I was driving to my job at Delmar Printing in Matthews, NC. I felt for some reason the very real presence of God in the car that day. I finally, after all that time surrendered my life to anything that the LORD had for me.
Do you think the LORD does not reward obedience? That very same week, a friend of mine at work (a little short red-headed fireball of a lady) wanted to set me up on a blind date. That blind date was an answer to prayer that I didn’t even know I needed. Don’t you know God gives you the better things you need rather than the things you think you want? That turned out to be my future wife (very near future)!
That relationship grew into a relationship with her family that led me to a church of actual, factual, spiritually like-minded people who love God and try to live in this world like they are closer to God than they are to this world. Oh, we as a couple have fought a lot over the years, just as I am sure all couples do, but we had Christ as the glue that has held us together over the years. Blessing after blessing after blessing. Hard times but God is always there. The peace that passes all understanding. I am still not sure why I am so blessed. All you can do is stand before God in amazement and say, thank you Lord for this wonderful life. If it is this good here, Heaven is unfathomable!
“Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word.”
“With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments.”
“Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.”
“Blessed art thou, O Lord: teach me thy statutes.”
“With my lips have I declared all the judgments of thy mouth.”
“I have rejoiced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches.”
“I will meditate in thy precepts, and I have respect unto thy ways.”
“I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word.”
Psalm 119:9-16
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and continuing…
When I was a child I thought I was pretty great. I tried hard to obey my parents, and to do the right thing. I was pretty successful at that in my own mind. (My parents might tell a different story. But I felt quite successful, and justified in my own abilities. ?) I was the “good” kid at school. I tried hard to do the right thing. It was my first year of kindergarten, and I was feeling pretty fantastic about myself.
That all changed one day when I went to school and my class had a substitute teacher. So far in my school year I had not suffered like I would on this day. The substitute of all things would not let me go to get water. She did not understand. I was thirsty. I wanted, no I needed water! I asked politely many times, and was refused. Finally I raised my hand and told the teacher that I had medicine in my backpack that had to be taken with water. She told me to get the medicine, and show her. I kindly informed her that my mother said I couldn’t show it to anyone. She told me that must mean children, and that I should go to my bag and get the medicine. I still remember that long walk to the hooks on the wall where my backpack was hanging empty. I opened it up, and fished through it. I found in the bottom of the bag an empty plastic Easter egg. I carried it to the teacher and said, “It’s in here. But my Mom doesn’t want anyone to look at it. May I go and get my water now.” She said ok, and proceeded to walk with me to the water fountain. I can still remember my mind surfing for a new lie that would help get me out of the previous lies. Then the substitute knocked on the door of another teacher. The other teacher came into the hallway, and they began to discuss the situation. I was terrified. The substitute went back to class, and left me with the new teacher. She smiled, told me to get some water, and sent me back to class.
I had just lied multiple times and gotten away with it. Not only that, I’d gotten what I wanted. It came time to go home, and when my car pulled up I started walking to get in the car, and the teacher from the other class followed me to the car. My heart was pounding. My little five year old heart felt like it would stop. The teacher told my mother exactly what happened. When we pulled away I knew I was in major trouble. Then something strange happened. My mom started to laugh. She laughed and laughed and laughed. I didn’t get in any trouble at all. We got home, and at the dinner table that night my mom told my dad what had happened. This is it I thought. This is where I get in trouble. But at that moment both of my parents laughed together. No one said anything to me about lying multiple times to an authority figure. I went to bed that night thinking I had gotten away with it, but the problem was that even though I had “gotten away with it” my conscience was not letting me have a moment of peace. I spent multiple days feeling sick in my stomach that I’d done something so wrong. The guilt was strong, and I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t received any punishment for my actions.
A few weeks after I remember I was in Sunday school, and it suddenly hit me that if I died right then I would go to Hell. I was a sinner. I could never be perfect. I needed a Saviour. I walked up to my Sunday school teacher after class and told her I needed to get saved. I even remember her telling me to wait for my Mom and Dad because they would want to talk to me, and I knew it could not wait. I had to get saved that very second. There wasn’t a moment to lose. She took me out into this little area in the hallway where I was facing that same water fountain. I bowed my head, repented of my sin, asked God to be my Saviour; and I haven’t looked back.
When a person first realizes their need for a Saviour, and the fact that they will never and can never be good enough to get to heaven on their own is the best moment for them. It doesn’t feel good. In fact it feels rather terrifying to suddenly understand our own depravity. We need to see and understand our need for a holy righteous God to save us from our own sin, or we will never repent. I’m thankful that I was little when I realized my need for him, but there is no age limit for salvation. The moment we realize we need a Saviour is the time for salvation. I hope and pray that all who are reading this know where they will spend eternity. If not take some time to think through how much God loves you, and how much he wants you to give your life to him. Feel free to ask us any questions, and even share your testimony with us. We’d love to hear your story!
GA
Voice of the Introverts 