Love and Marriage
I’ve noticed a trend when it comes to Americans and what they are looking for when it comes to love. I blame Hollywood for this phenomenon. Most people think love is a feeling. Their philosophy on love is written by Disney. “I’ve fallen in love” is possibly the stupidest statement ever said. Love isn’t like tripping over a rock. Love is an action. It’s a choice. We’ve substituted sex and physical attraction for love. We equate attraction with love. True love is so much more! Romeo and Juliet were immature children, yet we hold them up as a prime example of love. Romeo and Juliet should be a cautionary tale, not a life goal.
You may be thinking, “who are you to give advice about love?” The fact is, I am no one, but I have this amazing and wonderful place for gathering information that is in fact the one and only perfect place for getting advice. God’s Word is the ultimate authority for advice on all things, and love is no exception.
God’s ultimate plan for love is marriage. Marriage and family is one man, one woman, for life. I think we can all agree that this is not what marriage is in our society. We have people getting married, divorcing, marrying themselves, and same sex marriage. Some of us don’t care about honoring God, so I am not talking to those people. This article is for people who would like to have a marriage that does honor God.
What is the purpose of marriage? The whole purpose of marriage is to be a reflection of Christ and his church.
Ephesians 5:22-33
22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord.
23. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body.
24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
In America we want everything cheap, quick, and easy. Nothing about marriage is cheap, quick, or easy. Marriage was designed to be a reflection of the love of Christ for the church itself. Marriage isn’t infatuation, lust, or physical attraction. It’s commitment, and dedication, and most importantly, never, ever, ever following your feelings. I say this a lot, but here it is again, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it.” Jeremiah 17:9
I’ll try to tread lightly here…for most people the goal of marriage is self-gratification. They are trying to fill this hole inside of themselves. They are trying to fill the hole with some all-consuming love. They are looking for their soulmate. These people need to understand something. They can search the world over, but they will never find a person to fill that hole. That is a God shaped hole that only he can fill. No person can ever complete you. Give it up. It isn’t going to happen. Going from marriage to marriage to marriage, or relationship to relationship to relationship isn’t going to solve your longing. You might get a temporary fix when you meet someone new, and that feeling of infatuation is at its height, but that feeling won’t last, and the hole will still be there when the excitement fades. A human can’t take the place of God.
Very quickly I now do want to step on a few toes. If you are entertaining even thoughts of another you are in sin. You need to stop immediately. Repent, and beg God to help you stay faithful in thought and in deed. That moment of “pleasure” is a really high price to have to pay. I see so many women talking about how hot this actor or that co-worker is. That is not remaining faithful in thought. I’m speaking mainly to women because I am one; however, women and men alike need to guard our hearts, and cling to one another.
A real marriage is not selfish. It is selfless. My favorite verse that I like to remember is Ecclesiastes 4:12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Keep Christ at the center of your marriage and it will be much harder for it to be destroyed.
The devil seeks to destroy families, in particular marriages. He is great at his job. Look around at the broken families all around us. Feminism would like us to believe that submission is weakness, when in fact it empowers us. It allows us the freedom to be exactly who God designed us to be. Men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it. Wow! What a powerful illustration!
Till death do us part is part of our marriage covenant. A covenant promise that should not be entered into lightly, and it cannot be thrown away without consequence. Hold on tight to your spouse, and don’t let go. Work together to build a life that is pleasing to God. Pray without ceasing for one another.
Again, I don’t claim to be a marriage expert, but I do believe the Bible. If my marriage were to fall apart tomorrow, it’s not because what God says isn’t true. It’s because my husband and/or I stopped following His plan. Don’t look at me, or at other’s marriages to build yours. Look to God!
“As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.” Psalm 18:30
GA
and continuing…
Agape Love
A very difficult concept is the greatest love of all: agape love. Agape love, according to Wikipedia is “the highest form of love, charity” and “the love of God for man and of man for God”.
Huh? Excuse me, what was that last phrase, Wikipedia? “and of man for God”. I hate to tell you, but you got that last part screwed up! The love of God for man, yes; but there is no way in any capacity that man can achieve the same sort of love for God that God has for man!
That’s what I get for using Wikipedia as a source.
I explain thru Romans 5:8 – “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
Get this into your head – we do not have the capacity to love that much. We might, if need be, be able to sacrifice ourselves for our spouses or children. We could be coerced, under special circumstances to maybe sacrifice ourselves for friends or acquaintances. The only people willing to give themselves for others are trained soldiers or policemen (and we have people wanting to get rid of them, HA!); and that is under acts of war and/or terrorism.
God sent His Son, in the form of a man, to earth. He came specifically to offer Himself as the final sacrifice for the sins of EVERYONE! He came for not only his family, not only his friends or acquaintances, he came for all men, even the ones that hate Him! He did this knowing the outcome. He knew many would reject Him, but he came anyway. He knew and he knows the outcome but he gave His all for me, He gave his all for you. He even gave His all for the Democratic Party members that are so openly denying Him and throwing Him out the door of all public buildings throughout the country.
Tell me honestly now, when you give gifts to your children and you can tell in that attitude and expressions that they do not appreciate the gift, how do you react? You might try to hide it, but you really would like to pop the little booger on the behind, wouldn’t you? If you knew beforehand that they would act that way before you gave it to them, what would you do? I really think most of us would not bother to give it to them at all.
I cannot explain Agape love completely, but that is a decent example – that God loves you and me and the rest of the world so much that even with our little finite minds and abilities, the God who made all Heaven and Earth left Heaven and made Himself in the form of a man to give Himself a sacrifice for ALL men.
If you ruminate on that for a little it blows your mind!
Philippians 2:7-11 :
“But made himself of no reputation and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:”
“And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”
“Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:”
“That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;”
“And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
AE
Voice of the Introverts 